According to the Author, Fred Rogers a.k.a. Mr. Rogers (from the popular children’s show) is just as friendly on camera as he is when fighting with his wife.
It’s okay. Do not worry and don’t be afraid. Just focus on happier times, such as your childhood. Everything was magical and bright back then, without the complexity of adulthood. It is OK to focus on your past In order to escape the present. This is why you built a ball pit in your home - it acts a cradle and rocks you to sleep when all you want is to die and never be alone again.